One thought that always rolls through your mind, sometimes way back, sometimes way in the front (usually when you’re awake in the middle of the night), is about the future. What if this never works?, you wonder, How will I do another month of this? — or even, some days, How will I do another day of this?
I want to encourage you to start relying on the Lord for grace for each moment. You may not be able to handle another cycle of this or another shot in your backside, but I invite you to pray like this: Lord, I don’t know about next cycle or the next shot, or the next time someone asks me when I will have kids, or the next miscarriage or the next [whatever] — but will You give me strength for just the one I’m in? I don’t know about the next day, but will You give grace for this day? Because that’s really all that’s asked of you right now. The Lord says, “I’m not asking you about next month or next week or tonight — can you do right now? Can you do today? Can you do this cycle? This ultrasound? This morning?”
And He will give you the strength for that if you keep your eyes fixed on Him (Hebrews 12:1-2). Don’t let your eyes wander past that, and don’t waste your energy on worrying about tomorrow– as Jesus said, “Tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” And whatever challenge awaits when you get there, God will give you grace for it as you need it, just as He did for this one. And, hopefully, at the end of the day (or hour), you’ll be able to rejoice in the victories He gave you, more than you will dread and wallow in the defeats that may be to come.
I love this quote from the GirlTalk blog: “If you can’t pray away the pain, pray through the pain.” If you have to — and you may have to — pray a million times a day to get through each little battle, instead of praying for each of them in a frenzy days or weeks in advance. And God is faithful, He will not give you more than you can handle (1 Cor. 10:13), and as He promised Paul, so He promises you, that His grace is sufficient for you. So pray for moment by moment grace, and let your thoughts stop there.