[Note: This post has been edited down from its original version.]
[…] Likewise, several months back, my husband received a call from a friend who out of nowhere burst into asking him when we’re going to finally get around to having kids. My husband eventually interrupted him, forced to confide our struggles. Later he told me how at first he wanted to lash out at the friend for being so inconsiderate, but then he confessed, “I know I used to be like that. I would ask my sister and her husband the same kind of thing, and I didn’t know if they had a problem.” And I related that I’ve also lacked the wisdom to be sensitive to where people can be struggling in life, such as ragging on single friends for needing to hurry up and find a spouse. The only reason we now have the consideration not to mindlessly hound people on insensitive subjects is because now we’ve actually been victims of it, and we know how deep it cuts. This is wisdom.
Here’s something to consider: what if you needed some serious advice? You must choose to ask one of two people: they are both committed Christians with good education, and they are the same age. One easily had so-many kids and has encountered no health or financial distress, her family has been perfectly intact and without struggle, and she has never had reason to question anything about her faith. The other lost a child, walked with her husband through a lay-off, watched her parents suffer through an affair, and at one point had a teenager walk away from his faith and led him back over time. The choice is obvious: you would ask the second woman for advice. Why? Because she’s the one with wisdom. Contrary to the old adage, wisdom is not necessarily granted with age – it comes with experience, with struggle, and with an open heart that walks with the Lord through that struggle, thriving instead of just surviving.
Imagine this: an angel, or even Jesus Himself, comes to you in the middle of the night and offers you two choices: you can have everything you want for the rest of your life (marriage, children, work, finances, health, etc.) without struggle, but you will lack the wisdom that would come with otherwise working for, waiting for, or sacrificing those things. Or, you can do without, or wait for, or give up some of those things, but be all the more wise and experienced. What would you choose?
Solomon was approached by God and given the chance to have anything in the whole world. He had a “one wish,” so to speak. Do you know what he chose? Wisdom. If you were given “one wish,” what would you choose? Given that you’re reading this blog, I’m guessing you would choose to end this trial and have a baby, maybe even twins. But Solomon chose wisdom. The Bible says God made him the wisest man who ever lived. And do you know what he had to say later about wisdom?
“Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold. She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her.”
Think about that. He said nothing you desire can compare with wisdom. The wisest man who ever lived (he also was one of the richest, and had many wives and thus many children), thinks there is nothing in the world better than wisdom. Do you agree?
My challenge for you in this “lesson” (which is written with more humility than it sounds, I promise) is to consider how you can or should be gaining wisdom from this trial. Because you do have the choice to walk through it and gain little or no wisdom, which would be a pity if you ask me. If you could go back to day 1 of trying to conceive, and God let you choose to wait ______ months [fill in your number] and gain that much wisdom, or skip the wisdom and have the baby in month 1, what would you choose, knowing what you know now? According the wisest man who ever lived, the wise person would choose the first option. Would you?