I’m not sure if this will be encouraging to any of you, but I decided to share it just in case. She talks about how she handled grief when she lost her 20th child, among other things related to that. I know sometimes it can be a blessing to hear someone in a similar situation discuss it. Let me know your thoughts!
We sang this song in small group this morning, and I’ve been thinking of it all day. My husband and I have always liked it, but it wasn’t until we sang it today that I really focused on the weight of the words. It’s another perfect trial song. I invite you to read the words and listen to the sweet hymn.
Also, my husband was leading worship and shared about how the original writer of the words had a hard life and went insane, and what saved him was finding Christ. What an amazing testimony, and it only adds to the richness of the words. The man’s name is William Cowper, and he was alive in the 1700s. You might want to read more about him.
Here are the lyrics, followed by the song… I bolded the words that really touched my heart.
God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.
Deep in His dark and hidden mines
With never-failing skill
He fashions all His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.
So God we trust in You
O God we trust in You
O fearful saints new courage take
The clouds that you now dread
Are big with mercy and will break
In blessings on your head.
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense
But trust Him for His grace,
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.
So God we trust in You
O God we trust in You
When tears are great
And comforts few
We hope in mercies ever new;
We trust in You.
God’s purposes will ripen fast
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste
But sweet will be the flower.
Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter
And He will make it plain.
*You can buy this song and album here: Sovereign Grace Music
A perfect song about the sweetness of sorrow.
I know I keep mentioning this book, but that’s only because it’s amazing and ya’ll have to read it. I am still in Tim Keller’s Walking with God through Pain and Suffering and highlighting like every word.
At the end of each chapter he includes a testimony — a true story, relative to the chapter’s point, as told by someone who walked a certain trial. It’s a touching end to each message. I just finished one about a man who has ALS and his wife, and the awful trial it has been for them. I read the final quote by her and ran over to post about it, it is just so perfect!
Just the other day my husband and I were at lunch with one of his closest friends and his wife. As we shared with them about our long, painful trial with infertility, we started testifying of how sweet this time has been, as strange as that sounds. We praised the Lord before them for how much this has grown our marriage, sanctified us, and brought us closer to Christ every day. We actually ended by wishing for them that they would be so blessed as to have a trial soon as well. I know that’s a weird thing to say, but I’ve learned (and scripture supports it) that there is probably no better way to grow in Christ and closer to the Father. As much as this trial breaks my heart and aches our spirits, I am so grateful for what it has done in our lives.
I was blessed to hear this woman echo my thoughts:
“We have found meaning, purpose, joy, growth, and wholeness in our loss. How much I would have missed if I had opted out of this season. God has had so much to give me in the midst of it. I see how intense sorrow and intense sweetness are mingled together. The depth and richness of life has come in suffering. How much I have learned and how much sweeter Jesus is to me now.”
If you don’t believe me or her, maybe Peter’s inspired words will convince you:
I know some of you are in your darkest hour. I remember what it was like to be in the deepest depths of the pit of despair. I remember walking around my house and spontaneously bursting into tears, even surprising myself with the level of sorrow inside of me. I remember lying in bed, inconsolable and broken, literally crying out to the Lord in my weariest, tear-soaked voice, “Where are You? Where are You?” I remember thinking it was never going to get better.
The Lord has not yet given me a child, but He did answer many of my prayers to make it better. Little by little, He dug me out of the pit and provided the joy and strength I needed. It’s not always totally better, but it’s better than it was.
And in remembering this, I think of so many of you who may be reading this, aching inside, dying inside, lying broken at the bottom of the valley. And you don’t need a lesson, a rebuke or even a Bible verse. You just need to be reminded: You’ll get through this. It’ll get better. You can do this. I know it seems unthinkable, relentless, unbearable and hopeless. But you can do this. This is not the end of your journey. There is hope — there is always hope. It’s bad now, but it will not always be like this.
If no one else has told you yet, let me be the first: you’re going to get through this.
You’re in good company. Before His death, Jesus pleaded with God to spare Him from the coming agony. God didn’t. On the cross, I believe, He had His time in the pit, as He was crying out, like you and me, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken Me?” But God came through for Him, and He will for you.
If you are seeking advice, the best I can say for today is to start praying earnestly that God will give you what you lack inside. For me, it was real strength, joy, peace, and hope. And He will be faithful and give you those things. It may take a few days, weeks, even months. But He will not leave you in this pit. He will come for you.
It’s going to be ok.