If you google Infertility, you will find about 22,900,000 initial results. I feel like at least 22,000,000 of those are forums of women obsessing over symptoms, decisions, tests and diagnoses. The numbers of women contributing to the madness is astounding, overwhelming, and quickly depressing, especially when you consider how many more women are reading without commenting. Very early into this, I had to set up boundaries for myself to resist the sinful temptation to worry, fear, and obsess. I don’t take pregnancy tests before I’m “late.” I don’t contribute to forums or similar sites and, as much as possible, I don’t read them. I’m not perfect; there have still been many times when one innocent search for a non-obsessive question (What is prolactin anyway?) led me on a rabbit trail that ended with me in tears and my husband insisting I just walk away from the computer.
But you don’t need your husband to tell you to stop obsessing. Jesus Himself spoke on the problem when He was teaching His first followers about worry and trusting the Lord. The verse I claim for this is Matthew 6:27, when He reasons with them, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?” In other words, what is it going to change if you take your fifth EPT? You will still be pregnant or not pregnant, regardless of how many women you can get to agree with you that “that definitely looks like a line.” And if you lose another night’s sleep wondering what that blood test is going to say about your hormones, it will not change the results. So sleep easy. Close your laptop. Put the tests back on the shelf. Meditate on higher things and spend your time in more eternal ways. Cast your cares on the Lord and move on, and repeat. Worrying — obsessing– is not going to change anything. Trust in the Lord and resist the temptation to trust in other things for your hope and peace.