Today was a valley day

Today was a valley day. A day when you cried a lot. Like a lot, a lot. The pharmacist tells you your total and you and your husband’s jaws drop and you have to figure out what to do. Again. A day when you give yourself a shot at your kitchen table while your husband feeds you instructions and you both feel so alone together. A day when you stop to pray a hundred times, just to get through it. A day when googling gets the best of you and steals all of your optimism. A day when you keep rereading verses and listening to songs you know by heart, to encourage your heart. You and your husband are irritable and fighting from the stress. You are weak. You are truly weary. You feel like a wimp. You feel forgotten. Disappointed. You don’t want to be dealing with this. There were so many other things you were supposed to be doing with your life at this point, and three blood tests in a week wasn’t one of them. This is a nightmare. The worst-case scenario is your real-life situation, and it feels like it’s never ending. You are walking through the valley of the shadow of death and it feels like it’s killing you. You feel like a speck in the ocean as it keeps sweeping over you, and Lord, when is this ever going to end? You are thirsty for mercy and this is a day when you feel like you’re only sinking deeper. This is the real valley — the real deal. It hurts physically, spiritually, emotionally. It is dark and it is real life. Today was a valley day.

…But even in the valley, You are faithful. You are working for our good and for Your glory.